A difficult childhood marked by family breakdown has inspired a young University of Canterbury student to help reshape the conversation around men's mental health.
Twenty-two-year-old Ethan Byloo told host Hamish Williams that while moving between New Zealand and Spain during his early years was memorable, the greatest challenge of his childhood was witnessing the breakdown of his parents' relationship and later navigating their separation. He recalled growing up in an environment of conflict before his father eventually left when he was around ten years old.
Ethan said the experience left a lasting mark on how he viewed himself and relationships. As a teenager, he often found himself comparing his family to others and questioning why his own life looked different. Looking back, he now recognises how deeply those early experiences influenced his mental health.
For several years, his response was avoidance. He withdrew into himself and convinced himself he had moved on, only to discover that the unresolved emotions remained beneath the surface. It wasn't until a perceptive school friend noticed he was struggling and took him to a school counsellor that things began to change.
That first positive counselling experience proved transformative.
Ethan encouraged others not to give up if their first experience with therapy isn't the right fit, saying that finding a counsellor you genuinely connect with can make all the difference. He continues to see a therapist regularly and credits that ongoing relationship with helping him build healthier ways of coping.
Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald shared that while divorce itself is not necessarily damaging for children, ongoing parental conflict, instability and feelings of abandonment can have lasting effects. He said children often internalise family breakdown, believing they are somehow responsible, and that early counselling can help challenge those beliefs before they become deeply ingrained.
Rather than allowing his experiences to define him, Ethan has channelled them into action. He is now president of the University of Canterbury's volunteer charity Lads Without Labels, which focuses on improving men's mental health through connection rather than clinical intervention.
The organisation runs practical life-skills workshops, social events, surf sessions, running groups and "Flat Chats", where volunteers visit student flats to share a meal and encourage honest conversations about wellbeing. Their flagship fundraiser, Run72, raises awareness of the high rate of male suicide while bringing thousands of people together around a shared cause.
For Ethan, the charity's philosophy is simple: meaningful conversations don't always begin in counselling rooms. Sometimes they start over a shared activity, a meal, or a run with friends.
His message was one of hope and that vulnerability is not weakness, that asking for help is a strength, and that genuine connection remains one of the most powerful protective factors for mental health.
