News and Updates

News and Updates

Stay up to date with the latest Nutters news.

Kyle MacDonald: There's no Such Thing as a Naughty Child

Are children really just "naughty" or is there more to it?

Donald Winnicott, one of the pre-eminent psychotherapists of the twentieth century - and in having a parenting programme on BBC radio was probably also the first "media therapist" - famously said: "There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone."

Often misquoted as just the first half of that statement, it conveys the idea that psychologically babies don't exist without a caregiver. In those early days there is only the child-parent pairing, and that is how it should be.

It's also true to say there is no such thing as a "naughty child". There is a distressed child and a family.


Kyle MacDonald: Are you tired of people being 'outraged'?

More and more recently I've been feeling like I have outrage fatigue.

There's just no shortage of things to be outraged about. From the trivial: the price of avocados, to the local: Housing New Zealand and meth testing, to the International: the internment of children at America's southern border.

In fact, the more I read and engage with the news I can't escape the feeling I'm not outraged enough, or about enough things.



Kyle MacDonald: Is the way you communicate ruining your relationship?

There's a tipping point in life where, despite your own image of yourself as "youth adjacent", you start to feel the generation gap. Nowhere has this been more apparent to me than when I talk with younger clients about dating culture, dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, and the role of devices, social media and digital communication in relationships.

Oh, and Snapchat. I just don't get Snapchat.

Perhaps - in a desperate bid to remain relevant - I can embrace this as an evolution of how we relate. It isn't all bad news. In fact, my experience as a partner and father is such that the feeling of being tethered is also a feeling of being connected.

Kyle MacDonald: The hardest thing to do as a parent

I hate writing about parenting because the world is already full of a million opinions about how to raise your child. In many ways it's bizarre that something we've been doing forever has had so many books, columns and blogs written about it.

And you shouldn't listen to me any more than you should listen to any of those books. You should listen to your children.

Understanding development and the fact we're always playing catch up means we need to recognise that, as parents, we get it wrong a lot more than we like to admit.



Kyle MacDonald: Can Roseanne Really Blame Drugs for Bad Behaviour?

Last week actor and comedian Roseanne Barr had her ABC show cancelled because of a tirade of racist and offensive tweets. She later apologised and blamed her sleeping medication, Ambien, which she claims to have taken prior to posting online.

But is it an excuse? Is it reasonable to blame medication, or any drug, for bad behaviour? Are we still ourselves when we're intoxicated?

There are some side effects of the class of medication that includes Ambien (not available in NZ, the most similar medication available here is the widely used Zopiclone) which include memory difficulties and drowsiness the next morning, sleepwalking for some, and sleep eating for a small number - waking up to discover you ate a whole bar of chocolate and have no memory of doing so.


Kyle MacDonald: Signs you Need to See a Therapist

Cause and effect aren't much of a mystery if you break your leg. In fact it's usually immediately obvious.

Emotional injuries aren't quite so straightforward.

Many people come into therapy expecting, or even fearing, an exercise in talking about the past in detail; conversations focused on childhood memories and past struggles. Yet, in contrast to this most people actually come to therapy because something is going wrong in their life right now.



Kyle MacDonald: Human Rights Commission Complaint Over David Seymour's Letter

A couple of weeks ago a letter was circulated in parts of Epsom from Act party leader and local MP David Seymour. It encouraged protesting Housing New Zealand's plans to expand its current housing in the Epsom area. And it stated: "There is also a chance that some of the future residents will have social and mental health issues who will need to have special support measures in place."

Well, I've got some news for you, David: Based on the national data about the prevalence of mental health difficulties, there are already about 3500 people currently experiencing "mental health issues" in Epsom. What's more, about 10,000 Epsom residents will go on to experience mental health issues at some point in their lifetime.

One (or more) might even be your neighbour. Heaven forbid!


Kyle MacDonald: What We're Forgetting About Cannabis

With so much talk around medical cannabis, legalisation and how "safe" it is as a recreational drug, it is important to remember that, for many, the drug can wreak havoc on their lives.

One such person who can attest to the impact is Dave Chant, who was our guest last weekend on the Nutters Club.

Cannabis addiction was a problem for Chant for most of his adult life. Like many, it's a tale of gradually slipping from social use to increased daily use to needing to be stoned every minute he was awake.




Kyle MacDonald: Women and Young People Most Stressed in Work Place

It's a big week in the United Kingdom: and I'm not talking about a wedding. No, it's Mental Health Awareness Week and as part of that a survey of 4500 people has been published, reporting on stress in the workplace.

And if you're young, or a woman, it isn't good news.

The thing that is so useful about this survey is that it places the cause of stress - work - at the centre of the conversation. And it's no surprise to me that young people and women experience more stress.



Kyle MacDonald: Why 'Involuntary Celibacy' is a Growing Concern

I'd heard of the "Involuntary Celibate" movement but in the interest of my own wellbeing had largely avoided engaging in any detail.

"Incel", for short, is a small but growing online community of men. They describe themselves in this manner because they believe the lack of sexual interest they get from women is a deprivation of what is naturally theirs: namely, the servitude of women.

It is a world of hate, misogyny, contradiction, male entitlement and disturbance. The Toronto van killing is being described as the action of an "Incel" bent on death and mayhem.

How the hell did we get here? How has this become a movement?